career change...

[foxy]

A gynaecologist had become fed up with all the malpractice, insurance and NHS paperwork, and was burned out.

Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, Saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade’’.

The instructor replied, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career."

[foxy]

another wee one that dropped into the mailbox today......

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

The average mans penis is three times the length of his thumb.

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

A womans heart beats faster than a mans.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average persons skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now. ........













Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

[Biscuit]

the first one reminded me of this :D

RCRAiQdNem8

[foxy]

:lol2:
nice one ;):D

[alane]

I knew a gynaeclogist once, papered his hall, stairways and landing through his letterbox.

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth, this is a fact*
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' - which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing powers.

Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together.

[RWG]

Here Here!!
RWG

[bobsyeruncle]

Should Children witness childbirth?....

Here's your answer.


Due to a power cut, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl,
To hold a flashlight high over her mum so he could see while he helped deliver
The baby.. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and
Pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bum.
Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and
Asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded,
'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his bum again!'

[gordj65]

Should Children witness childbirth?....

Here's your answer.


Due to a power cut, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl,
To hold a flashlight high over her mum so he could see while he helped deliver
The baby.. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and
Pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bum.
Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and
Asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded,
'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place.....smack his bum again!'

no one should witness childbirth, it is not a spectator sport

[mbg]

no one should witness childbirth, it is not a spectator sport

Know what you mean. I didn't want to be there myself, but they made me stay.:eek: ;)

[gordj65]

Know what you mean. I didn't want to be there myself, but they made me stay.:eek: ;)

i wanted to be at the top end, but because they were short staffed i had to go down the business end and help, not pleasent, not pleasant at all, you women dont know how lucky your not having to see that, its FREAKY:eek: